Honestly, been there and its such a headache when everyone buys the same thing. I have tried pretty much every app out there because my family is huge and nobody communicates. Giftster is basically the gold standard for this exact situation. It looks a bit old school but it works perfectly.

• Giftster: Its free and lets you create child accounts so you manage the lists for all 3 kids. The best part is the claim feature where people mark things as bought, but it stays hidden from you so you dont spoil the surprise.
• Elfster: Mostly for secret santa stuff but their wishlist feature is actually really solid. You can add links from any site and people can reserve items.
• GiftHero: Super clean interface and works like a browser extension. Ngl, Giftster is probably your best bet for the MIL situation since its hard to accidentally delete stuff on there compared to a shared note...

Saw this earlier but just now getting around to typing. We have been really happy with using a dedicated app instead of those messy group chats... seriously, those things are where holiday joy goes to die.

• Just go with Elfster or any similar free app, honestly you cant go wrong with the big brands.
• They dont cost a dime which is great for the budget.
• It works well because the app hides what has been bought from you but shows everyone else. Speaking of budgets, i spent way too much on that fancy scented wrapping paper last year and it was a total waste. My youngest just ripped it off in three seconds and the dog tried to eat the scraps. This year im just using old newspapers or maybe those cheap brown bags from the grocery store. Its kinda funny how we stress about the presentation when the kids just want the toys inside. I did the same thing with the food last year too... spent hours on a charcuterie board and everyone just wanted the frozen pizza rolls i made as a backup. Note to self: just buy more pizza rolls this time. But yeah, definitely grab a free app and save yourself the headache. It makes things so much smoother when you dont have to play detective to see who bought what.

Regarding what #1 said about it being a headache when everyone buys the same thing... yeah, I felt that in my soul. A few years back my aunt bought the same Lego set as my husband and the look on his face when he realized he had to return it in a snowstorm was enough for me to switch. Over the years I've probably cycled through a dozen different apps trying to find one that my tech-illiterate relatives wouldnt break. I totally agree that Giftster is reliable, but Elfster is what we have used for the last few seasons. In my experience, its way better at handling the surprise element. When someone marks an item as bought, it hides it from everyone else and you can set it so you dont see it either. I also swear by using my favorite gift list extension when I am browsing to just click a button on any store page. Saves so much time.