Just catching up on this thread after a long day... and yeah, the duplicate gift thing is a rite of passage for big families. Years ago, my sister and I both bought our mom the exact same fancy mixer. We felt like idiots standing there as she opened the second one. It was a total waste of gas and time returning it. After that, we basically forced everyone onto an app because the group chats were getting impossible to follow. Trying out different ones over the last decade taught me that most of the free ones are fine. You really dont need to pay for anything fancy. Sticking with Giftster is usually my advice because it does exactly what it needs to without a bunch of clutter. The learning curve is pretty low even if you arent a tech wizard. Most importantly, everyone has to actually mark stuff as bought. If people forget to hit that reserve button, the app is basically useless no matter how much it cost. Getting the older relatives on board takes a bit of work at first, but once they see they dont have to guess what to buy, they usually love it. Just grab any of those gift list apps from the app store and you'll probably be fine as long as you keep it simple. Its more about the habit than the specific software imo. It kinda just works once you get the hang of it.

Honestly, I totally get the stress. My family used to have this huge issue where three different relatives would buy my daughter the same doll... it was a complete disaster and so awkward. I learned the hard way that paper lists are basically useless when you have a big group to track. You might want to consider an app that has a sync feature, but be careful because some of them are way too complex for people who arent tech-savvy.

• Make sure the app has a clear claim or reserve button so others know an item is gone.
• I would suggest testing the sync with one person first to see if the updates are instant.
• Be careful about privacy settings so the kids dont accidentally see their own lists. If you dont get everyone on the same page, the duplicates will still happen regardless of the tech. I've been using Share Product Wishlist lately to organize my kids' holiday requests and it's been such a lifesaver.