tl;dr: grab the M3 Max but look for a deal! I totally get the stress! I use the Apple MacBook Pro 16-inch M3 Max 16-CPU 40-GPU 64GB RAM 1TB SSD and it...
Spot on about the firmware - that step is non-negotiable or the NVMe drive wont even show up. Tbh, looking at the market right now, you really have to...